Jo Janoski\’s Blog

Writings, Observations, Poetry, Stories

More Burgh Dreams July 16, 2006

Filed under: In The News,Local Humor — jojanoski @ 10:31 pm

Wouldn’t you know it? I was dreaming about Burgh Media last night again. This time, I dreamt I was sitting in at Big Ben’s news conference:

Big Ben: Hi , everyone! I wanted to hold this press conference to assure you all I’m feeling good and should be back to football in the fall.

Press: Ben, how did it feel to have an accident like that?

BB: Huh? Well, it hurt. It hurt a lot.

Press: I mean, were you sad? Afraid? Confused?

BB: Huh? …Next question.

Press: Ben, do you feel you are as handsome now as you were before?

BB: PittGirl thinks so.

Press: Have you been sleeping well?

BB: Huh? Well, yes, I guess.

Press: Are you eating okay?

BB: Well, yeah. What’s going on…

Press: BEN! Did you eat your vegetables last night?

BB: Did I eat…Hey, doesn’t anyone here have any questions about football?

Press: No. Too boring. Ben, how did it feel to break the law by not wearing your helmet and with an expired learner’s permit?

BB: Look, I want you to understand I didn’t know I was breaking the law. I forgot to wear my helmet. Normally, I wear my helmet.

Press: Ben, when did you last wear it?

BB: What?

Press: Your helmet, Ben, when did you last wear it?

BB: Ummm, my memory’s a little off since the accident. I’ll have to get back to you on that. To get back to what I was saying, I wanted everyone to know I hope to be back at training camp in the fall…

Press: Ben, will you be riding your motorcycle to camp?

BB: I don’t know. I wanted to emphasize there was no harm done to my head or legs, and my throwing arm is pretty darned impressive, so I’m ready for camp.

Voice in the Crowd: Ben, are you sure? About the arm, I mean.

BB: Tommy Maddix? Is that you?

Voice: No, man! Oops, gotta go! See ya!

BB: That sure looked like Tommy Maddix.

Press: Who cares? Do you have a girl friend, Ben?

BB: Who wants to know?

Press: America wants to know, Ben.

BB: I’m not telling.

Press: Okay, well, then what’s your favorite food?

BB: My favorite food? What is this?

Press: If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be?

BB: What? This press conference is over. [Storms from the podium]

Voice in crowd: Psst, what did he say about his arm? Is it good?

Press: Tommy Maddix, what’s your favorite vegetable?

Voice: AHHHHH, let me out of here.

Press: You guys want to go to Starbucks for a latte?

[Screen goes blank]

Your lucky day: More

Copyright 2006 JO Janoski

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